Making a Difference

Making a Difference

In researching our family genealogy over the past year, I’ve gained some insight into the lifestyles and behaviors of kinfolks who followed their own trails many years ago.  Some glimpses of their lives have made me proud that I have some of their DNA and a trace of their bloodline pulsing through my veins.  Others , simply occupy a branch on the family tree and there is just not much you can find to make you proud.  One woman who “made a difference” and makes our family proud is my wife’s paternal grandmother. 

Becky’s Grandmother Jessie was one of four children who were born out-of-wedlock.  Although family folklore identifies the man who was purportedly the father, there is no record that attests to his parental role, so all four kids carried their mother's family name. Grandmother Jessie was the oldest child of the four children.  She was born in 1890, with the other three born over the next eleven years.  Being the first born, Jessie was a first-hand witness to her sibling’s out-of-wedlock births and her mother’s on-again-off-again relationships with their father.  We have very little family lore to shed light on those growing up years for Jessie, but when she married and had her own family she always told her own children that she was ashamed of “the way she was born” and made a choice early in life to “not raise her family that way.”

Grandma Jessie married William Henry Watts and they had a long and productive marriage.  During their 60 year marriage, Jessie gave birth to 17 children, raising twelve who survived into adulthood.  The children were born over a twenty-seven year span with Becky’s dad, Ben, the oldest, born in 1909 and Lillian, the baby, born in 1932.  Grandmother Jessie determined early in the marriage that her family would live a Godly lifestyle, attend church, pray and read the Bible.  Apparently, quite a contrast to the type of home environment in which she was raised.   According to family lore, Will had been known to “drink a little” prior to their marriage and it was only when Jessie told him he’d have to “give up drinking” that she agreed to the marriage proposal.  Apparently he did give it up, stayed true to his promise and teamed with Jessie to raise an honest and honorable family.

Her children always spoke highly of their mother; she was the rock on which they built their lives. The family lived the meager life of the pre-post depression eras and for many years lived on subsistence farming and manual labor as the primary means of existence.   Never having enough to enjoy a surplus, but not starving; living in a four room house with two small sleeping rooms with three or four kids to a bed and some of the girls sharing their parent’s bed as well.  And what I find phenomenal is that some of the “girls in the family,” now in their 80’s, have told us that each night when everyone got into bed, Jessie would lead her family in saying aloud the Lord’s Prayer as a way to close out the day.

Having raised only two kids of our own, I find it almost unimaginable that Grandma Jessie could manage such a large household and still have the energy and presence of mind to have a family prayer when they all got into bed.

Grandpa Will died about the time Becky and I were married, but Grandma Jessie continued to live in their home place where she’d raised her nine girls and three boys.  We were fortunate to be able to visit with her numerous times during the early years of our marriage.  She was always glad to see us and loved to hold and love on our “baby” and any of her great grandchildren when she had opportunity to do so.  She had a kind and gentle spirit about her and sometimes when you’d drop in to visit she’d be sitting in her rocker by the window with an open Bible in her lap.

Grandma Jessie made a choice to “make a difference” in her own life and by so doing,  she made a difference in the lives of countless others.  She raised twelve children.  Each went on to marry and raise families of their own, giving her 45 grand children to love and enjoy. To the best of my knowledge, all her children had stable, moral, Godly families that reflected the teaching they received from their mother.  Being an only child and having only six first cousins, I was a bit overwhelmed when I attended my first Watts family reunion at Grandmother Jessie’s old home place, discovering that Becky had 45 first cousins, just on her dad’s side of the family.

Grandmother Jessie’s life was certainly a meager one by today’s standards.  Her children received no material inheritance of earthly value, but instead received the gifts of a mother’s love, a hope for the future, and a faith in God from a woman who chose to make a difference in her life.  I don’t remember if the minister used this scripture at her funeral, but if he did, he was right on target.

Proverbs 31 (Selected Verses) ¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.  ¹¹ The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  ¹² She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.  …… ²⁵ Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.   ²⁶ She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.  ²⁷ She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.  ²⁸ Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.  ²⁹ Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.   ³⁰ Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (King James Version)

After reminiscing about Grandmother Jessie, I’d feel guilt if I felt too tired or too old to keep rambling, so……..

Now let’s ramble!