A Gift from the Elders

A few years ago during the Christmas season, I agreed to chauffeur my wife Becky, her mom, Alga Watts, and two of her sisters, Aunt Mary Bell and Aunt Lucille, on a day trip to visit with their “baby brother”, Horace Teague, age 80.  Aunt Lucille is actually the baby of the family, she was still in her 70’s at the time, but the other three were all 80+.

It was a cold and raw Christmas Eve day with cloudy skies, a slight drizzle of rain with the possibility of snow later in the day.  We picked up Aunt Mary Bell at her home in Chestnut Hill, then Aunt Lucille in Newport, just off the Cosby highway, then on to Clifton Heights to get Mrs. Watts.  From there we headed toward Greenville to visit Uncle Horace.

Uncle Horace was a retired Freewill Baptist Preacher.  His wife had died some years prior and he lived alone, but his son Jim and wife Evelyn lived nearby.  Horace had limited mobility and poor vision, but he still had his booming “preacher voice” developed from years of preaching in small churches without a sound system.

He was so glad to see his sisters and was obviously moved emotionally as he hugged and greeted each one.  He talked at length about how all of them had “been blessed by the Lord.”  They all had tolerable good health, had children who could help take care of them when they needed help, and all had "good church-going, Bible-believing, Christ-focused "families.

It was soon clear that although Horace had retired from the pulpit, he had not given up preaching.  After talking a few minutes about his old church and why he’d left it recently and begun to form a new church family, he said….. “Now girls, (he’d forgotten I was sitting there too) I’m going to have to preach a little” …..And he commenced to hit what I call the “preacher talk” cadence.”   Uncle Horace probably built a good ten minute sermon as Alga, Mary Bell, Becky and I listened.  Lucille was nodding her head and saying “That’s right….that’s right” as she encouraged Horace’s preaching.

After the sermon, he talked about the new young families that were gathering to form up the “new church” and how they were committed to doing what “the Bible says we are supposed to do…..getting back to the word.”  Everyone finally shared some family talk about their children, grand kids, and Horace talked about his good neighbors from the nearby Mennonite community.  After about an hour and a half of visiting and remembering days gone by, everyone decided it was time to head back toward home.  Each sister said her goodbye, gave him a hug and we left Uncle Horace to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day alone.  Jim and Evelyn were out of town visiting their own children.

We delivered everyone home and made it back to our home in New Market without incident.  Rain was falling now and the temperatures were near freezing, but the roads remained clear of ice. 

A few days after Christmas, when life had settled back into some sort of routine, I was thinking about the Christmas Eve day spent with these special elders.  I jotted down some thoughts, actually gifts of insight, the elders shared with me that day.

·        These sisters truly loved their brother and showed it in many ways, some tangible, some not.  (They took Horace a special cake which he’d requested.)

·        Sisters will listen to a short sermon without saying a word.  They may not have wanted to be “preached to” but they didn’t let their brother know it.  They listened with encouragement and respect.

·        None of these elders complained about the hardships of age (loss of mobility, loss of hearing, poor vision and lapses of memory), but gave thanks for the good things of life.

·        Elders like to visit others and to be visited themselves.  It is the relationships that are important as we get older.  It is not things you can give or what you get….it is the people and the relationships that are built over a lifetime that matter.

·        The elders enjoyed the moment.  A simple drive of about 120 miles round-trip with conversation, a visit and a meal were pure enjoyment.  Enjoying life at the moment is important.  Today is all you’ve got, so enjoy it.

·        Each sister was glad to get back to her respective home.  Familiarity, security, your own chair and good neighbors make coming home the best part of any trip.

·        Horace and his three sisters were all surviving spouses from long-time monogamous marriages.  For them, death didn’t end long-term relationships.  They each talked about “talking to their spouse” often.  Uncle Horace said, “Now I don’t believe in talking to the dead or spirits, but I talk with Beulah every day…..you girls know what I mean.”  They all nodded their agreement and said “Yes, they talked too.”

·        The elders lived in expectation of an ultimate reunion with loved ones.  They talked about their “reunion with their spouse” in Heaven.  “It is going to be wonderful,” Mrs. Watts said….”I think more and more about it every day.”

It has been a number of years since Becky and I spent that memorable Christmas Eve day with the elders.  Uncle Horace and his three sisters (Alga, Mary Bell, & Lucille) are all deceased.  I’m still not as old as these elders were on that special day trip and I certainly don’t consider myself young any longer.  But you know what; the truth is that no matter how old you are, you can always learn something about life from those who are older. 

Our elders are a just a little further along on the journey, surviving much of what life has to offer, anticipating the future, and enjoying the gift of each new day. 

My visit with the elders reminded me once again that sometimes the best gifts are not wrapped in bright paper with fancy bows, but simply come from someone’s heart.

Christmas is almost here! 

Share a gift with someone from your heart.